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In life, we sometimes carry around unresolved hurts; offenses we have laid on others and vice versa. Left unchecked, that baggage can sneak into our hearts as we carry them from one season into another, one relationship to the next, until the bitterness turns to rage and anger. Continue reading
I awoke to the pitter patter of rain drops rather than the anticipated sound of chirping birds. My eyes adjusted to another dark, drizzly Monday. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. I don’t generally like the first day of the week. It means the weekend is over. Time of rest and relaxation has come to an end. Back to a new week of work and toil. The Monday Blues take over as I get ready for my day.
The Monday’s of this past year have been especially hard after the tragic loss of my first born son. Grief is such a strange thing. You never know when it’s going to creep in and take over your emotions. This Monday was no different. I did my best not to show my sadness, but my husband can always see the pain in my eyes. Sitting in silence for most of the morning was commonplace; I don’t talk much when I’m blue. On my way out the door to start my Blue Monday, Mike stated: “It’s Monday. Make it a great day.” To which I responded, “I have the Monday Blues.” He looked at me, his eyes peering over the brim of his glasses, and said: “Pick a different color.”
Pick. A. Different. Color.
So simple and yet so profound. I meditated on this statement all morning. Can it really be that simple? Thinking about bright yellows and brilliant oranges got my mind off my blues. I spent the 30 minute drive to work pondering the endless color choices in order to replace this blue Monday with a brighter shade. My Monday commute normally involves wiping hot tears from my cheeks. But this Monday was different, as I thought about colors, I could be clever with my choice, and Mauve came to mind. Mauve Monday. But I’m not a big Mauve fan; that hue of pink just didn’t seem to fit my personality. This was a very serious decision, one with which I had to be extremely careful. I needed to pick just the right color to take over my Monday Blues.
During lunch, I Googled the meanings of colors, and I found a color wheel with hundreds of different colors and their corresponding traits. I quickly passed over purple, but did a double take when glancing over the attributes. Purple.
Purple Monday.
Purple is a product of blue combined with red; a tiny change in one creates something new. Attributes of the color purple are creativity, wealth, peace, wisdom, and my favorite: royalty. Okay…I like where this is going. Upon further investigation, I found lighter shades of purple are often used to soothe or calm the spirit. Yes…purple is my new Monday color.
I’m positive my husband did not intend for me to go this deep, but it seems that’s what I do these days. I go deep. His statement was so serious I felt a huge responsibility to give it weighty thought.
What exactly is my point, you ask? If you don’t like the way something is going, you DO have the choice to change it. You DO NOT have to settle in on sadness when it truly destroys your whole day. It all comes down to choice.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. We cannot always control our emotions like that…they cannot be turned on and off like a faucet. That is true. What I am saying is, consider making a choice to do something else. Make a tiny change. It won’t always work, but you have to try. Staying stuck in the same place, doing the same thing over and over again is bondage. Mike’s simple statement made me realize I was bound to my sadness every Monday morning. But the idea of changing the way we look at our situations give us small victory after small victory, and pretty soon, we will wake up to a peaceful Purple Monday rather than the blue Monday we’ve grown so accustomed.
So go ahead and give yourself permission to choose a different color.
It is going to take some time to get used to this new heart response, but I can tell you that for today, this Monday was not filled with the blues.
And I came home to witness a momma deer give birth to her brand new baby fawn in the field beyond our fence. A truly miraculous experience and a perfect end to my Purple Monday.
Peace
We live in a neighborhood that is heavily wooded. Our backyard has always been a large eyesore of dying grass and invasive weeds, which made it seem inhospitable to us. I had never thought much about it really; never took the time to see its beauty. Last winter, for some supposedly random reason, my husband decided to renovate our backyard. Mike got rid of the weeds and planted new greenery and flowers; refurbished the decking boards and bought outdoor furniture – old wooden benches circled the newly laid firepit. Adirondack chairs, a hammock, tiki torches and citronella candles surrounded the sitting area. But my absolute favorite piece was my Christmas present…a wooden swing Mike attached to the deck beams. He also put up some bird feeders in order to watch and listen to the birds. We didn’t know it then, but God had put a desire in Mike’s heart to create our sanctuary, for such a time as this.
Last month I received the devastating news of my son’s death. He died of mental illness and addiction. He was missing for 63 days before they found him, which added a level of horrific anxiety to my life I had never experienced before. We’re not supposed to bury our children…how in the world am I supposed to recover from the trauma of losing my firstborn son?
When I first received the news, I retreated to my tranquil backyard. I found comfort there, sitting in the middle of nature, swinging to the sway of the soft blowing wind; listening to the universe. There aren’t many words these days…nothing can explain the senseless tragedy of losing your child. For some reason, I felt there was nothing more important than sitting in silence.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 NLT
Looking up into the canopy, tree limbs hang in just the right way to form a perfect heart shaped opening to the heavens: A true gift from the Lord. I like to sit and stare up at my heart in the trees, while my own heart struggles to mend. My life has been forever altered.
I’ve sat in my Paradise every day since I heard the earth shattering news and my tree heart has stayed consistently the same. Until this morning.
A big storm come through last night, which blew the trees wildly, branches swayed to and fro, bending and bowing to the powerfully strong winds.
The next morning as I sat on my swing coffee in hand, Mike by my side, I looked up at my heavenly tree heart. The branches had shifted so much so that it caused my heart in the trees to change its shape. It no longer looked like a well-defined heart; it actually looked a little lopsided. “My heart is changing,” I thought. And I heard the universe responded, “Yes. Your heart is most definitely changing.”
The storms of life will undoubtedly cause our branches to shift, and move; changing the shape of our future; bending us to become unrecognizable, even a little lopsided. It is then we realize the time has come for us to change, too.
Sitting in silence, listening to the universe, opening our hearts and minds to a new way of life allows growth to take place. Through this tragedy, I have come to realize that like my backyard, the winds of change have blown into my heart, which was in desperate need of renovation. Sometimes life’s storms are out of our control, bringing about forced change; but allowing room in our hearts to change for the good, will help us grow and keep us moving forward.
Peace be with you.
Julia
I find myself asking that question over and over to myself and to those who are closest to me. There are so many uncertainties; so many unknowns. I went to bed last night depressed and overwhelmed after watching the news. I woke up this morning, listening to the voices in my head telling me to be afraid. And for a little while, I succumbed to those lies. I allowed the fear to grip my heart and to steal my joy and my peace. I sat silently; listing the devastation that was taking place all around me. And I wept at the thought that life would never be the same.
I walked aimlessly through the house like a lost puppy; not really knowing what to do or where to start.
What am I afraid of?
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of the uncertainty of the future.
Fear for the country.
Fear of not being in control.
The fear of that truth nearly paralyzed me. I’m most fearful because everything is out of my hands. I have no control whatsoever of what has happened to our lives.
And then…Isaiah 41:10 popped into my head.
“Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” [TLB]
After looking up multiple versions, I landed on The Living Bible version; I liked it the best. Why, you ask?
Because this version uses the word VICTORIOUS to describe God’s right hand. Knowing God has gone before us, that VICTORY has already been achieved, gave me great peace.
Knowing we can fight FROM victory, rather than FOR victory comforts my soul. I pray this comforts your soul, too.
Stay healthy. Stay strong.
Peace be with you, my friends.
~Julia
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
My sister and I used play a childhood game where we called each other food names as insults. The more unappealing the food, the harsher the insult. When Ronda called me a “Brussel Sprout!” I would respond with “Spinach!” Using harsh tone of voice, we accentuated the syllables to really drive the insult home. We got creative, elongating the food name, such as “Green bean casserole” or “Liver and Onions” giving the slur more punch. We laughed as we pretended to be offended by the food name.
While pretending to hurt each other’s feelings with food names is innocent and silly, real insults and harsh words pierce our soul and crush our spirit, leaving gaping wounds on our heart too deep for an “I’m sorry” Band-Aid.
I witnessed a woman whose posture changed from standing tall and confident to shrugged shoulders with her eyes averted to the ground. Her smile became a frown in seconds as the word “useless” penetrated her heart, reminding me of David’s lament in Palm 42:10(TLB)
“Their taunts pierce me like a fatal wound;”
The old adage Sticks and Stones was used to encourage children to ignore insults and refrain from retaliation. Our world today is much different from the late 1800’s when this phrase made its first appearance in our conversations. Unfortunately, people tear others down in order to elevate themselves, causing unhealed wounds to take bitter roots deep into unforgiving soil.
Let us all try to use our words to encourage and empower one another, remembering the elementary truth if we don’t have anything nice to say, then we shouldn’t say anything at all.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT
Peace be with you.
Julia
“Do not be lazy, but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart.” Romans 12:11 NCV
For 20 years, I have spoken the same words to my family as they start their day: “Be Excellent!”
This wisdom came from Bill and Ted, who took an Excellent Adventure into the past in order to save their history grade. Receiving help from a time traveler, they used the time machine to trek to several historical events. They returned with significant figures in history to help complete their final, and most excellent presentation.
Twenty years later, my understanding of this wisdom is gleaned from the Bible (Proverbs 2:6 NIV) rather than Bill and Ted.
The truth is we are all called to excellence.
God made us with excellence (Ephesians 2:10 NLT) and He expects us to be the best us that we can be, giving 110% in everything we do. The above scripture doesn’t say, “If we feel like it, maybe we can work up to mediocrity and settle for good enough.”
Too often, we tackle difficult tasks that require more planning, time and effort than expected. Rather than focusing on the task at hand, we try to balance too much. We become frustrated as our deadlines approach, at which time we decide good is enough.
When we put in mediocre work, we get mediocre results, and set the example that average is acceptable.
Ken
sington Community Church is a place of brilliance. They use visual and performing arts to bring the gospel message to seekers. Excellence was expected and non-negotiable. While on staff at KCC I learned from example how to go beyond good until I found GREAT in every task I was given.
Good enough is mediocre. Great is excellent.
So, be excellent!
Julia
“So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” Hebrews 2:1 NLT
Many of us have unknowingly experienced a strange theory called The Mandela Effect. The phenomena was named for our incorrect recollections of Nelson Mandela’s death while in prison in the 1980’s. Many claim to have seen clips of his funeral on television, despite the fact that his death occurred 30 years later. Basically we share false memories of random events, names, and song lyrics that never actually occurred, causing us to believe we’ve either experienced a parallel universe, or we’ve gone mad.
The song We Are The Champions has a much different ending than most of us remember. We recall Freddie Mercury singing “No time for losers, cause we are the champions…of the world” but the song ends without the lyrics “of the world” ever being sung.
We remember Darth Vader’s famous line as “Luke, I am your father” when the actual line is “NO, I am your father.”
The reality of this phenomenon is actually a glitch in our own memory.
Truth: WE HEAR OR SEE ONLY A FRACTION OF THE TRUTH.
There are three sides to every story: Your side, my side and then there’s the truth. We live in an internet filled, photo-shopped, agenda driven world of pictures and one-sided stories where truth is obscure and hard to find.
With so much information at our fingertips, we have to work hard at recognizing truth when we see or hear it. If we do not listen carefully to what we hear or pay close attention to what we see, we may drift away from the actual truth.
But don’t take my word for it. Go ask “Mirror, Mirror on the wall.”
~Julia
“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does.”
1 Corinthians 14:1 MSG
On Christmas Eve in 1914, British soldiers in the trenches silenced their gunfire as they listened to German soldiers sing Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht. Both sides met in No Man’s Land, taking advantage of the ceasefire to sing Christmas songs, exchange gifts, and recover their fallen comrades. For just a little while, they put aside their differences and celebrated the birth of the One True King. For just a little while, they were united.
We live in uncertain times; a chaotic world that is upside down. Negativity and hatred fills the world we live in, where verbal gunfire maims one, while stepping over mortar eggshells in order not to offend another.
What if we put aside our differences, for a little while, to call a truce with one another?
I love the new AT&T commercial where a family gathers to participate in all the busy work of the holidays, while the daughter spends all her time disconnected, with her face in her phone. The commercial ends with dad unwrapping his daughter’s gift to him, which is her cell phone. We don’t spend enough time with each other, nor do we communicate face to face anymore. We live in the technological era, where information is literally at our fingertips. We have to know everything right away. Every email and every text message seem so urgent, and we must respond immediately. We approach our conversations through text messages where emotion and tone are not present and information is always misconstrued. There is so much more information you can get just by looking into a person’s eyes, without uttering a single word.
What if we put our cell phones down, look each other in the eyes, and talk, dream, laugh, and cry with each other?
We don’t have to go to each other’s world to recognize our common bond: LOVE. We can step over conversations that are divisive, and stick with easy conversations about our hopes and dreams, and then we can DREAM BIG together.
What if we found our No Man’s Land, and let love be our highest goal?
Merry Christmas!
Peace be with you.
~Julia
(Photo: Reuters/Brian Snyder)
Last week a tragedy occurred in Charleston, SC, where nine beautiful souls were gunned down by a deranged 21-year old. The shooter tried to incite racial division, chaos, terror and hate. But evil messed with the wrong town, and the wrong church. Rather than yield to racial division, they chose unity, with one unified heart. Reverand Norvel Goff Sr. stated in his message Sunday that “the only color the church knows is red; the blood of Jesus.”
Rather than focusing on hate, Charleston chose love because “love is stronger than hate.” When their hearts should have been filled with malice, the people of Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church didn’t wait for an apology; they chose immediate forgiveness. The blood that was spilled in the pews was barely dry when they walked into the courtroom the day of the arraignment, looked evil in the eye and said the words, “I forgive you.” Personally knowing the cost of living life with hatred, bitterness, and anger, the people of EAME Church in Charleston chose the better way; they chose the narrow gate that leads to life. [Matthew 7:13-14]
And while we don’t know what’s going to happen to the shooter, God is so full of love that even he has a chance for salvation.[Luke 23:34] We may not be able to understand it, but forgiveness is one of those mysteries that we cannot fully comprehend without Jesus.
God shines His light in the dark places of the world. He shines His light on the hearts of all of us. Many times we see hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment, division; we see the face of pure evil. God’s light shined brightly when darkness descended upon Charleston and the congregation of EAME Church and the world was astounded by what we saw: Forgiveness, unity, peace, and love. God takes the most horrific tragedies and turns them into His victory. Love wins!
What do you want the world to see when God shines His Light on your heart?
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
Papa, I pray we, as a people hold ourselves up to the same high standards as the beautiful people of Charleston and EAME Church so that when God shines His light on us, the world will see forgiveness, unity, peace and love. In Jesus Name ~ Amen.
Peace be with you.
~Julia
When I was a little girl, I loved to watch PBS’s Romper Room. It was a beloved children’s show that taught life lessons to preschoolers on how to make good decisions. At the end of every show, Ms. Nancy would look into her Magic Mirror, and call out names of her television friends who she saw having a special day.
“Romper bomper stomper boo, tell me, tell me, tell me do, magic mirror tell me today, did all my friends have fun at play?” Ms. Nancy
would proceed to call out about twenty or so names before the credits would roll and the show would end. “I see Suzie and Michael and Sarah and Jack all having a special day. I see Hannah and Lisa and Johnny…” Every day I would sit in front of my television set, holding my breath, hoping Ms. Nancy would call my name. Every day I would say to myself, “Maybe tomorrow.”
I am not the only one who longed for her name to be called on Romper Room. When asked by Oprah in an interview if he had any regrets, Kelsey Grammer (star of the hit show Frasier on NBC) stated “Ms. Nancy never saw me in her magic mirror.”
We all want to be known, and loved. When we do get recognition, it makes us feel good. However life is full of disappointments, especially when our names are not called. We feel unloved and unappreciated; sometimes invisible.
Be encouraged! God knows you. He called your name before you were even born. [Galatians 1:15] You are beloved, His chosen one; His special possession. [1 Peter 2:9] You can trust His promises are true and your name is indeed written in the Book of Life.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise 
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” [Psalm 139:13-16]
Papa~Reveal yourself to each one of us. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see that our names have been called by You. Give us wisdom, knowledge and understanding to know and trust you. In Jesus name~Amen
Peace be with you.
~Julia
STEP by STEP 